Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Menstruation Frustration

On Christmas Eve in 7th grade, Santa brought me the worst gift ever…my period.  My mom was all excited, telling me that I was “a woman now” and that this was a “beautiful thing.”  Who was she kidding?!  First of all, “woman” was not the word to describe me back then.  “Antagonistic tomboy” would have been more appropriate.  Second, there was nothing beautiful about PMS and the other indignities females have to suffer every month, like having to accompany your mother (or worse, father!) to the grocery store to purchase needed feminine hygiene products.  If I knew Pampers…I mean pads…were on the grocery list, I would find a way to get out of the trip to Pathmark, but sometimes my mom would fake me out and not write it down, leaving me to throw a fit in the Health and Beauty Aids aisle. 
I’m not sure how many years I behaved that way (yes, it was years), but eventually I learned that they made pads that were not five inches thick (my mom was a little behind the times) and my friend’s mom, (who had long since tired of listening to me complain every summer about not being able to go swimming for one week every month) handed me a box of tampons and told me not to come back until I had figured out how to use them.  Having mastered the hygiene product aspect of menstruation, it would be a few more years before a wonderful doctor suggested I go on the Pill to lessen the side effects of my monthly misery.  I’ll spare you the details, but suffice it to say I often missed at least one day of school or work every cycle and I think at one point my mom consulted our priest to see about his performing an exorcism on me, so horrific were my mood swings.
So, what does this little trip down memory lane have to do with my weight loss journey?  If you’re a woman and reading this, I don’t have to tell you.  If you’re a man and reading this, be happy you weren’t in front of me and asking that question last week. 
PMS is the bane of most every woman’s existence.  I have actually met a couple of women who have never suffered from any of the symptoms and I’m convinced they are genetically engineered and put on our planet to perpetuate the stereotype of the PMS B**** (rhymes with “bitch”), because when we do meet them, they suffer an untimely demise.
While the Pill may have eased most of my PMS symptoms, craving unhealthy food was not one of them!  Add to that the fact that I was on Spring Break last week and let myself have a little fun (two whole beers), and you’ve got a Weight Watchers disaster in the making. 
I consider it a public service to allow myself some chocolate during PMS week.  Dove dark chocolate miniatures (5 for 5 points) do a pretty good job of easing the craving, but sometimes I needed them twice a day.  And my little snack bags of Lite Kettle Corn (3 points) also helped to curb the salty/sweet cravings, but again, two bags per day were often required.  Exercise would have helped keep those points in check, but who wants to exercise when you feel tired, bloated, and cranky?  I got lucky though.  Although I blew through all my daily and weekly points and used up some of my meager exercise points, when I stepped on the scale today it showed I had lost 0.8 pounds.  Now, losing less than a pound may seem like nothing to get excited about, but I didn’t GAIN and that’s something to be happy about. 
3/28/12 – 218.2 pounds
Pounds lost in last week – 0.8
Total pounds lost to date – 7.2

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